


Unveiled

by sciencebluefeelings



Series: Trials of the Flesh [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Dream Sex, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mind Meld, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:47:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22152013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencebluefeelings/pseuds/sciencebluefeelings
Summary: The past never stops haunting the present.Takes place afterDisclosure.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock Prime
Series: Trials of the Flesh [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1518596
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Unveiled

Jim is instantly alert when he feels the empty space next to him on the bed. He feels around with his outstretched palm, and the mattress feels cool to the touch.

He looks around the dark room with his heart in his throat. "Spock?" he whispers. He flings back the covers and crawls out of bed. The bathroom is unoccupied, and the hallway to the living space is dark. "Spock?"

Before Jim can go into a full-fledged panic and call the police, he hears a low sleepy noise from the other side of the bed.

Jim stares at extra blankets pooled on the floor next to where the bed frame connects to the wall. Spock sits up from the middle of the pile of blankets, blinking sleepily.

"Oh my god," Jim says in a small voice. He rushes into Spock's open arms and curls against his chest.

Spock's fingers brush through his hair. "I apologize for frightening you," he murmurs. "I did not think you would awaken."

Jim presses his face to Spock's neck and breathes in. "What are you doing? Come back to bed."

Spock shakes his head. Jim wraps his arms around Spock tighter. "Spock?"

Spock's breathing is shallow. Jim tries to lean in to kiss him, but Spock shrinks away from his face. There are tears in his voice. "Forgive me, Jim. I am unable to do so in my current state."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Spock looks from the soft, warm blankets of the bed to Jim's face. "No." His body is tense, as if expecting Jim to continue to prod him.

Jim exhales and inches closer to Spock. "Is it okay if I sleep with you, then?"

Spock's voice is broken. "Oh, love. I will be fine on my own. Go back to bed."

"That wasn't a no." Jim curls on the floor and beckons to Spock. Spock buries his face in Jim's neck. He's murmuring something in a quiet voice, syllables of Vulcan muddied together to the point Jim cannot decipher what is being said.

Jim rubs Spock's trembling back and whispers his response in Vulcan. " _You're safe. You're safe, I got you._ "

Spock returns to sleeping in bed with Jim, but he doesn't let Jim kiss him after that night. 

Jim can't help feeling hurt and confused whenever he leans up now and then, in the kitchen, in the privacy of their quarters. Spock used to readily reciprocate with a peck to his lips. Jim’s gestures are now met with avoidance.

Jim can't stand it.

He approaches Spock in the bedroom that night as Spock undresses. "Was it something I did? You were okay with kisses before."

Spock breathes out, his eyes closed and body completely vulnerable. His voice is small. "I'm so sorry, Jim."

Jim feels his heart freeze in terror. "What did I do?"

Spock scrambles to grab him. "It is not - Jim, don't go."

Jim doesn't recognize his own voice. "Spock. Tell me what I did so that I know not to ever do it again."

Spock shakes his head, almost aggressively. "I have simply become irrationally repulsed by the thought of such contact."

The thoughts flowing across Jim's skin don't match Spock's words. Spock isn't telling the whole truth.

Maybe it's frustration at his own inadequacy, but Jim finds himself saying, "I wish you'd just tell me what happened."

Spock doesn't reply.

"Those three years - have you ever considered sharing what happened might make you feel better?"

Spock's tone is harsh and unfeeling. "If such knowledge is required to maintain our ties together, I have no choice but to conclude our relationship."

Jim feels like he's been plunged into deep ice water.

Spock sees Jim's face is full of fear, and his eyes become alight with regret. "Jim."

Jim chokes back a sob, his hands trembling. 

Spock runs his hands up and down his back. " _Ashaya_." Spock's voice is heartbroken. "You do not deserve to be hurt by my own shortcomings."

Jim closes his eyes. "No. I'm sorry. I'm the one that's - I shouldn't be acting like this."

Spock rests his head on Jim's shoulder and plays with Jim's hand, turning it back and forth between his fingers. Jim slides the other hand around the skin of Spock’s waist. "What should we do now, Spock?"

Spock wordlessly pulls Jim into the bathroom towards the shower.

The default shower setting is set to sonic in the New Vulcan households, but Jim has only seen Spock taking water showers.

Jim removes his own clothing and joins Spock under the spray of the showerhead. Jim wraps his hands around Spock's torso until his chest is pressed against Spock's back. Spock slowly relaxes backwards into him.

Jim nuzzles Spock's ear. "Can I kiss you anywhere else?"

"Anywhere," Spock says softly, "Everywhere. Except for my mouth."

Jim feels the tremulous need through the older Vulcan's skin. Jim gently turns Spock around so that he is facing him. He kisses the worn edge of Spock's eye. "Okay. Everywhere except the mouth." 

Jim traces his lips down the curve of Spock's face, his neck and back up again. He takes Spock's hand to press an open-mouthed kiss to the palm, then takes the dripping fingers into his mouth. Spock moans softly and thrusts his fingers over the heat of Jim's tongue. 

Jim allows Spock to guide his head down between his legs. The first time they had unprotected sex after Spock received a clean bill of health had also been in the shower. Jim thinks back to the memory as he kisses up Spock's inner thighs.

Jim presses a chaste kiss to Spock's slit before using his mouth to bring Spock to orgasm. Spock whimpers when he comes, back pressed to the tile wall. The tartness of his skin mixes with the clear taste of water. The taste lingers as Jim stands again, running his hands up Spock's body. He keeps his hands locked behind Spock's neck as Spock lubes his fingers and carefully presses into Jim.

Jim feels his heart racing as he spreads his legs wider, urging Spock deeper. Spock always knows Jim's threshold of pain and despite Jim's gentle prodding, he has always managed to stay right below the limit. 

Jim tips over the edge when Spock adds a third finger. His groans echo noisily above the sound of falling water. With his fingers still inside Jim, Spock rests his cheek on Jim's shoulder, matching Jim's breathes with his own.

His lips reverently mouth at Jim's neck, tasting the water dripping down his skin. 

"Jim, will you join me?"

"Yeah, of course." Jim puts down what he was doing to sit down on the meditation mat in front of Spock, who is already sitting cross-legged on it. He has been meditating completely unclothed, a sign he is having difficulty concentrating.

Spock meets his eyes, his face impassive. "It regards my inability to kiss you."

Jim leans forward slightly. "Spock. It's seriously okay."

"It has been several weeks."

"And it's been fine, yeah? We still talked and touched and had sex like we always do." Jim caresses Spock's bare thighs soothingly. "I don't care if I can never kiss you again. As long as I can have you."

Spock rubs his thumb over Jim's lower lip, eyes full of tenderness. "Jim, what do you know of Vulcan memory retention?"

Jim frowns, his hands still on Spock's thighs. "Vulcans have eidetic memory, right?"

"Unlike humans, whose normal mechanisms of memory allow traumatic incidents to gradually recede into the subconscious, Vulcans acutely remember every detail of what they have experienced."

Jim refuses to let his fingers tremble. He doesn't look away from Spock's wavering gaze.

Spock retracts his thumb from Jim’s lip. "Through meditation and proper technique, memories can be stored and their effect on the mind made less potent." Spock takes a deep breath. "Jim, there was - an individual. During one of. . ."

Spock hesitates, and Jim immediately knows he is speaking of one of his many 'diplomatic exchanges'.

Spock shakes his head and he continues speaking. "I thought I had successfully erased the specific detail of him from my memory, but then I dreamed of your face - which led to me seeing _his_ face. The memories were unraveled once more."

Fucking hell. Jim can't help the surge of dizzying anger and helplessness from the realization that he looks like one of Spock's rapists.

"There is a seldom utilized technique. It is often only utilized between bondmates, as it is a deeply intimate method." Spock rests his hands over Jim's. "I would allow you to enter my mind and produce interference within the constraints of the memory. This will help guide my meditation to properly dispose of the memory for good."

"Spock, listen, I know I pushed you before, but you're not obligated to show me anything."

Spock winces. "I am subjecting you to a highly unpleasant and detailed moment within my years of abuse, Jim. If there is anyone that requires an apology, it is you."

"Don't apologize. I want to help." Jim swallows. "What exactly would I be doing?"

"You'll know once you enter. Our minds will be connected, and we will know each other's every thought." Spock settles into a more proper meditative posture. He pulls Jim's hand to rest over his heart at his side. Then he splays one hand over Jim's chest, right over his heart. He presses the fingers of his other hand over Jim's meld points, a familiar molding of hands over his face. "I will call to you from within the dream. Wait for me."

Jim nods silently.

He watches his lover breathing slow and steady. Jim isn't sure if Spock knows, but Jim doesn't like watching Spock meditate. Jim knows a little about Vulcan meditation because of his former first officer. His first officer had looked tranquil, almost as if he was sleeping.

Spock on the other hand looks like he's stuck in a never-ending nightmare every time, teeth clenched and brows furrowed in pain. It makes Jim want to shake him out of the trance every time. He would've interfered by now if Spock wasn't so peaceful afterwards, as if nothing had ever happened.

Jim braces for a strange feeling, or some sort of touch to his mind like a usual meld. Nothing is happening as he waits.

Spock blinks open his eyes. "The mediation is proving unsuccessful. I do not feel wholly comfortable meditating with another presence in my immediate vicinity."

Before Jim can say anything, Spock moves forward to curl into Jim's lap. He readjusts his hands on Jim's heart and meld points again. "I am merely attempting to relax. You may do as you please."

Jim keeps one hand over Spock's heart and uses his free hand to stroke silvering strands of hair. Spock's skin is slightly cool, and the temperature of the bedroom is comfortably warm. Time ticks by easily.

Then Jim suddenly feels it.

He braces himself and lets the falling sensation overtake his consciousness.

The first thing Jim sees are the chains around Spock's ankles. They make Spock's bare feet seem even more vulnerable.

The chains that pull his arms taut above his head to a solid pole have left bruising around his wrists. Jim stares at the angry color of Spock's erection between trembling legs that are covered in gobs of semen and strange strands of slick. 

There’s a coarse red string tied around Spock’s neck, stark against his skin.

Seeing Spock prone like this in broad daylight is making Jim quake with rage. Jim knows instantly that Spock can feel Jim's anger. Spock's voice is gentle. "It's okay, my love. It's long over."

 _‘_ _Okay’_ is the last word Jim would use to describe this fucked-up mess. He grips the rusty shackles around Spock's wrists, desperate to remove them. "Can't I at least I unchain you?"

"If you deviate too far from the memory, I may not be able to replace it." Spock's breathing is accelerated. "Oh, Jim, I'm so sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for." Jim soothingly strokes Spock's face, using his body to shield Spock’s as if to protect his modesty even within the confines of the dream. Jim looks around. The crowd jeers and hollers but does not breach the boundary of the empty platform they stand on.

Spock explains, "The memories of the others have been successfully erased. It is only this one that I cannot remove."

Jim turns around and startles at seeing someone walking towards him and Spock.

The resemblance is definitely uncanny.

Oblivious to Jim, the blond, blue-eyed human leers at Spock as he pulls his cock out of his pants.

Jim's reaction is instinctive. He punches the lookalike so hard that he hears a satisfying crack. The bloodied lookalike human roars and grabs at Jim, who dodges and punches him down as brutally as he can.

The human stumbles and vaporizes before he can fall down. Spock shudders.

Jim goes back to him immediately, wide-eyed. "Was I not supposed to do that? Are you okay?"

Spock's cheeks are flushed. "I am fine. I may have affection your inhibitions though our connection."

"Good. Should I do anything else?" Jim holds Spock's torso as gently as he can, his worry mounting. "Spock? What should I do?"

Spock squeezes his eyes shut, lips pressed together. But the bond is still transferring memories, thoughts and desires. Jim knows immediately. "Of course that asshole wouldn't let you finish." Jim gets on his knees and carefully wipes at the unidentifiable fluids, gruesome even in the confines of the dream. "Here, just give me a moment." He removes his shirt to use it to properly clean the space between Spock's legs, attempting to be extra careful with his swollen hole.

Spock jerks away and lets out a soft noise. Jim quickly removes his hand and murmurs an apology that is nearly lost to the noise of the crowd around them. 

Jim finishes cleaning the best he can and drops the shirt to press a gentle, closed-mouth kiss to the bottom of the abused folds of the slit.

The chains rattle. Spock gasps raggedly. 

Jim closes his lips over the head of his cock. He guides Spock's narrow hips, and suckles gently as he takes Spock in deeper.

"Jim," Spock cries.

Jim pulls back. "I'm right here, Spock."

"Your hand," Spock begs, his eyes closed. "Please. Use your hand. I need to hear your voice."

"Spock, I don't want to hurt you," Jim says, his throat choking up.

"You know yourself. You can feel through our mental connection. You are not hurting me. Please, Jim."

There's no lube as far as Jim can tell in this hellish dreamscape, so Jim stands and teases at Spock's opened inner sheath with two fingers. Spock presses into Jim's touch, panting and groaning. 

Jim keeps dragging his fingers up between Spock's opened legs. There isn't as much slick as Jim is normally accustomed to, but the amount should be enough to bring Spock release if he is quick. Jim forgoes gentle touch in favor of quick, efficient movements, tightening his hand around Spock's length. He keeps speaking tenderly into Spock's ear, words of comfort, words that Spock has always desired to receive but deemed himself unworthy to hear. 

Spock cries out and his legs give way when he comes. Jim carefully wraps his arms around Spock, holding him up, easing the strain on his arms. Jim still isn't hard, but he can feel Spock's release like a ton of bricks in the back of his mind.

Jim presses his face to Spock's grimy, sweaty neck, hating the feeling of the rough red string barring his way.

The sensation is replaced by the feeling of being sucked out and away from the memory. Jim tries to hold Spock more tightly, but everything goes black.

Jim wakes, still in the same meditative position. Spock is asleep, curled in Jim's lap like he was before Jim slipped out of consciousness. Jim carries Spock into bed, tucking him under the covers. He lies down next to him and watches him slumber in peace.

It reminds him of the first night they slept together on the Enterprise, after Spock had been swapped back into his own body. They had only had sex once before Spock had peacefully fallen into a deep, trance-like sleep, his mind and body desperate to counter years of continual abuse.

Jim had found himself reluctant to leave, and he ended up watching over Spock far longer than he expected.

Jim finally gets up, watching Spock as he closes the bedroom door. He makes a light dinner, distracts himself with some necessary emails, and briefly talks to Bones. Bones is trying to decide what to get Captain Spock for their one-month anniversary. Jim still has no idea how that happened.

He's not complaining, though. Bones goes adorably bright pink every time Jim asks about them. It'll never get old.

Jim finally prepares for bed. He turns off the light before slipping under the covers to cuddle Spock.

He doesn't realize he had fallen asleep until he wakes up to a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Spock smiles down at Jim, radiant in the morning sunshine.

"You don't have to force yourself if you don't want to," Jim says sleepily. 

"Consider it a confirmation to prove our experiment was successful." Spock kisses Jim again, nearly purring into the touch. 

"Oh, yeah? What have you determined?"

"You have morning breath."

Jim laughs and tilts his head back for better access. 

That afternoon, Spock kisses him on the lips in the kitchen, in their quarters. Whenever Jim leans up for a kiss, Spock readily returns it.

There are still some days, weeks, when Spock refuses kisses to his mouth, but Jim always asks him where he can kiss Spock instead.

The answer is always _'anywhere, and everywhere'_.


End file.
